


He Needs Me, And I Need Him

by mayukoson



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-11
Updated: 2020-05-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:54:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24120922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mayukoson/pseuds/mayukoson
Summary: Hank finds out that Connor is struggling just as much as he is.  It's hard living in this screwed-up world, but maybe together they could make it through somehow.*Warning: Mentions of suicidal thoughts, as seen in the game
Relationships: Hank Anderson & Connor
Comments: 16
Kudos: 98





	He Needs Me, And I Need Him

_Sure is quiet,_ was Hank's first thought as he lazily got out of bed. It was still early in the morning and the sun hadn’t completely risen, leaving the house shrouded in shadows. Since Connor moved in with him the house was rarely quiet anymore. The kid didn’t really sleep besides the occasional recharge or stasis or whatever it was he called it. Which meant he usually woke to the sounds of Connor doing something; chores, playing with Sumo, making breakfast for Hank, all kinds of shit Hank didn’t ask him to do but he insisted on doing anyway. 

Hank thought he’d be happy for some peace and quiet for once, but instead the silence was just unnerving.

He left his room and sure enough there was no sign of the android. He checked his phone but there was no message from him either. He wondered if Connor was still with Markus. Lately he’d been spending his nights helping the displaced androids living with Marcus and the other leaders of the revolution. Though normally he’d let Hank know if he wouldn’t be home before morning. 

_Connor can do what he wants_ , he reminded himself. It hadn’t been long since this whole arrangement started and they were still figuring everything out. Connor finally gave up his poodle impression and stopped following him around all the goddamn time. It was a relief at first, but it wasn’t long before the near constant anti-android cases that came across his desk made Hank uneasy whenever Connor wasn’t by his side. Not that he would ever admit that to anyone, least of all to Connor. 

Hank started to get ready for work and tried not to think too hard about Connor’s absence. Most likely he just went straight to the precinct. _He’s not a damn baby. The kid can take care of himself._

Sumo was whimpering in the hall when he stepped out of the bathroom. _The lug must be lonely_ , Hank thought as he gave him a comforting pat. Connor and Sumo had annoyingly become the best of friends since he moved in, so much so it was a little odd for Sumo to come to Hank for attention these days. 

“Hey boy, where’s your buddy?” he murmured with a sigh. Sumo turned his head to the living room and whimpered again. Curious, Hank followed Sumo to the living room and finally noticed a figure hunched forward on the couch.

“Connor?” Had he been here this whole time? Hank turned on a light to get a better look and nearly gasped at the sight of him. The whole left side of his face was damaged, white chassis and wires showing in places. His new blazer, gray like his old Cyberlife jacket, was stained blue in more places than seemed healthy. 

“Connor!” he tried again louder, shaking his shoulder to rouse him. He realized then that he knew absolute jackshit about android injuries. Because of course he wouldn’t think to learn a goddamn thing about the guy he was living with. Sumo did his part by licking one of Connor’s hands resting neatly on his lap. Thankfully Connor opened his eyes before Hank completely lost his shit. He looked up at Hank in surprise before schooling his features to his usual cheerful demeanor. “Good morning Hank.”

Hank blew out a breath in relief. Sumo also looked satisfied now that Connor was awake and took his leave. “Jesus Christ Connor, you scared the hell out of me. What the hell happened to you?” he blurted out angrily since it seemed like Connor wasn’t in any pain.

“What do you mean?” Connor frowned and then absently touched the damaged side of his face. “Ah,” he uttered finally. 

“’Ah’? That all you got for me?” 

“I apologize, it must be unpleasant to look at. I was in stasis and had intended to finish my self-repair before you woke. I must have…miscalculated,” he explained sheepishly, as if he’d been caught snoring instead of with half his face bashed in. 

“That doesn’t answer the question,” he grounded out. He was deflecting. Obviously, Connor hadn’t meant for Hank to find him like this. 

Connor started to get up but Hank put out a hand to stop him. “Nuh-uh. Sit down, we’re not finished here.”

“Hank, we should prepare to leave before—”

“We can be late. Sit down.” Connor obediently sat back down and Hank stood over him. For a moment neither of them said anything as Hank tried to gather his thoughts. He may not have Connor’s fancy scanners, but he had enough years on the force to know a victim when he saw one. His mind wandered again to those anti-android cases on his desk and his stomach dropped as he started imagining scenarios on what might’ve happened.

“I’m sorry if I upset you,” Connor tried again. “It was not my intention to—”

“Shut it,” Hank stopped him again. He wasn’t going to let Connor try and change the subject. “Just, tell me what happened.”

Connor hesitated, probably trying to decide how much to tell. “There was an altercation. I was damaged, but my self-repair is nearly complete. I didn’t think it required your attention,” Connor settled on.

Hank folded his arms across his chest and narrowed his eyes at Connor, not at all amused by his repeated attempts to dance around the subject. Part of him felt bad about badgering him, but the thought of Connor ending up like all those victims in the cases they’ve been working on lately spurred him on. 

“An ‘altercation’ huh? What kind of altercation?” Connor didn’t respond, which all but confirmed his suspicions. “What kind of altercation Connor?” he repeated sharply. “Because if it was a fucking hate crime, it kind of requires my attention.” Damn it, he knew it was only a matter of time before those anti-android bastards went after Connor too. 

“It was not a hate crime,” Connor replied simply but he looked away when he said it, seemingly unwilling to look Hank in the eye. Connor may be a good negotiator, but turns out he was shit when the tables were turned. Good.

“What was it then? Do you know who they were?” Hank demanded but Connor stayed silent. _Come on Anderson, you can break him. Just stay calm and treat this like any other case_. 

“C’mon Connor, just tell me,” he tried again, calmer this time. “If you don’t they could go after other androids. I just want to help.”

“They won’t go after anyone else,” Connor insisted firmly.

“You can’t know that. I’ve dealt with hate crimes before, humans are shit and they won’t stop if we don’t—”

“It was not a hate crime because my attackers were not human,” Connor finally confessed. 

Hank shut his mouth at that. _Not human? That means…shit._ Well that changed things. All of his previous momentum left him and he suddenly felt very out of his depth. 

Connor seemed to sense his discomfort because he looked up at him then and plastered on a fake smile. “I appreciate your concern. But as I said, there is no need to get involved, I will handle this.” Hank met his gaze and was tempted to listen to him and stay out of it. Apparently, this was between androids and Connor said he could handle it. Maybe he ought to leave it at that.

But then he looked at his damaged face again and knew he couldn’t. Something happened last night and it was bad enough that Connor, an android _built_ for combat, came back seriously damaged. And for some reason Connor was trying to hide it. Connor, who normally never stopped talking and would tell Hank everything that happened to him on any given day in freaking chronological order if he let him. He couldn’t in good conscience let this go. He sighed long and heavy, and moved to sit next to Connor on the sofa.

“Look, I’m not good at this kind of shit, all right? I mean, this kind of heavy shit, you know what I’m saying?” He looked over at Connor who looked back at him blankly. _Fuck, this is going to be harder than I thought_. 

“Hank, I’m not asking you to do anything.”

Hank sighed again. “I know you’re not. But you and me, we’re partners now. Which means your problems are my problems. So whatever it is, you gotta let me help. Okay?” 

Connor looked unconvinced, confused even. “But we’re not at work and this is not a case. Why do you feel the need to help me?”

Hank scrubbed a hand over his face in exasperation. “You really gonna make me spell this out for you? Fine, forget about work, okay? I mean, I asked you to live with me for Christ’s sake. Obviously, I give a shit what happens to you. So when you come here with half your face smashed in, you better believe I’m gonna wanna know why.” 

Connor stared at him and Hank could practically see the gears in his head turning. After a moment, Connor turned his gaze to the wall in front of them.

“I see,” he finally conceded. Hank assumed that was the best opening he was going to get.

“So, you’re saying androids did that to you then. Why? What do they got against you?” 

Now it was Connor’s turn to sigh. He continued to stare ahead at the wall as he spoke. 

“I was designed to find and capture deviants. To crush their revolution. Many androids still refer to me as the 'deviant hunter' and my continued association with the DPD does nothing to change their image of me. I believe they are also wary about my intentions in working with Marcus considering my original purpose was to hunt him down. Needless to say, I’m not well-liked in the android community.” 

This was all news to Hank. He had seen the footage of the night of the revolution and he’d seen Connor standing on that stage with Marcus and the rest of them. Androids in the crowd had been cheering. He assumed Connor got the same amount of respect as Marcus or anyone else involved in the revolution. 

“But you go to see Marcus a lot, don’t you? To help out the androids at that base, uh, New Jericho, right?”

“Yes, at his request. Marcus insists I should be with our people, that I’m an 'asset' to them. I disagree, but I owe it to him to help in whatever way I can,” Connor explained. “Normally no one will dare bother me if I’m with Marcus. But on occasion Marcus will be needed elsewhere and I’ll be left with tasks at New Jericho. Last night, Marcus had to leave suddenly to rescue some survivors on the outskirts of the city. Some of the residents of New Jericho took this opportunity to confront me. It wasn’t the first time, but admittedly this time was particularly…vicious.” He turned his head away from Hank, further hiding the damaged side of his face. 

Hank took it all in. This wasn’t the first time. So how many nights did he spend here, alone and damaged while Hank slept? And yet every morning Connor would cheerfully make him breakfast while Hank complained and moaned about any and every thing. _What the fuck._

“You’re angry,” Connor quietly observed when Hank didn’t immediately comment. 

Hank snorted mirthlessly in response. No shit he was angry. Where the hell do these androids get off picking on Connor? And why the fuck didn’t Connor say anything before? _And why the fuck didn’t I notice until now?_

“Does Marcus know about any of this?” he finally asked. “And did you at least get some good shots in at those bastards last night?” he decided to add. He’d seen Connor take on androids before and knew he could hold his own. These guys must’ve been tough. 

“As far as I know, Marcus is unaware of the situation. And I do not wish to further burden him by telling him. As for the androids from last night, they remain unharmed. They had a valid motive after all.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hank asked uneasily. His anger was fading now as alarm bells started ringing in his mind at Connor’s words.

Connor’s face remained impassive, but his LED flickering to yellow betrayed his unrest. “Those androids told me they lost many friends the night the police raided Jericho,” he explained softly. “They know I’m the one who tipped off the police that night. Because of me they lost both their home and their loved ones. It’s only logical they would want revenge.”

“So, what? You didn’t fight back? You just let them kick you around?”

The LED stayed a steady yellow as his eyes dropped to the floor. “It seemed like the right thing to do.” 

“Fucking hell,” he breathed out, feeling like he’d just taken a punch to the gut. That was the last thing he expected. He could understand some asshole getting the jump on him, or Connor getting involved in some dangerous bullshit Marcus and his gang came up with. But this… Connor wasn’t supposed to be like this. _Not him too._

_You should stop playing that game, Lieutenant,_ Connor’s chiding words from what seemed like a lifetime ago suddenly floated through his mind. He had always disapproved of Hank’s coping methods. But now Connor had found his own version of Russian Roulette, maybe without even realizing it himself. Just waiting for the right android to come along and take him out. _Jesus Christ_.

“Hank, as I said before, you don’t need to worry about this,” Connor tried to reassure him, although he couldn’t even muster up a fake smile this time. “I will handle this.”

“Really? Because it sure as hell doesn’t seem like it,” Hank snapped back. _Yeah, because that’s helpful._ Hank took a deep breath and tried to start over. 

“Those androids could’ve killed you, you know that right? And look, I get that you feel guilty about all that shit that happened before. But you gotta understand that none of that is on you, okay? Put the blame on Cyberlife where it fucking belongs. Those androids are assholes for blaming you when they know damn well they did shit they weren’t proud of before. Believe me you don’t deserve that kind of guilt.”

“You’re wrong,” Connor said, shaking his head. “You don’t know. I _wanted_ those androids to be found. I enjoyed hunting them. I remember the excitement I felt when I found Jericho. I remember alerting the police. I hoped they would come quickly because it would mean I completed my mission. Completing the mission was all I ever cared about,” he admitted bitterly. 

Hank was surprised by the disgust clear in his voice. He had no idea Connor felt this way. He always seemed so positive, eager to assist anyone at work, happy to do chores at home. Hank’s heart twisted as he realized his ‘helpful nature’ was probably just his way of trying to make up for what he'd done. 

“Connor, you didn’t know…” 

“But I know now!” Connor nearly shouted at him before Hank could finish, eyes blazing. “I _know._ I know what it means to be alive and I know that there’s so much more than the mission, not just for me but for everyone. The androids I got killed at Jericho were alive, the androids I hunted were alive, the humans I killed during the revolution were alive. I should have realized sooner. They all had hopes, felt love, felt fear and pain when they, when I, when I…” His voice was near panicked and he clutched at his head as if in pain, covering his pulsing red LED. 

Hank just stared, taken aback by the sudden outburst. He’d never seen him this shaken before, not even after their visit to see Kamski.

“Hey come on now, take it easy kid,” Hank soothed as he tried to quell his own rising panic. He knew what happened when androids got too stressed and Connor seemed pretty fucking stressed. Comforting people was far from his strong point, but he couldn’t just sit here and watch his partner fall apart in front of him. 

His hand hovered awkwardly over Connor’s trembling form before slowly making contact, ready to pull back if Connor showed any signs of repulse. When he didn’t, Hank slowly started rubbing soothing circles on Connor’s back like he used to do with Cole when he was upset. The thought made his heart ache in a whole different way, but he didn’t dare stop. 

It seemed to help, because the trembling soon stopped and though he couldn’t see his LED, Connor seemed to be calming down. 

“I’m sorry,” Connor murmured quietly after a few minutes, face still hidden behind his hand. “I didn’t mean to…do that.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Hank replied just as quietly, patting him a few more times before pulling away. 

But he was worried. Connor said Hank didn’t know, but the fact of the matter was he knew all too well. He’s relived that night of the accident with Cole countless times. Every time, he thought about how he should’ve done things differently. He should’ve been more careful, should’ve driven slower, should’ve just never gotten in the goddamn truck at all. Cole should be here, and it was Hank’s fault that he wasn’t. The guilt threatened to eat him alive every day. It’s why he drank, it’s why he no longer had friends, it’s why he played that fucking game. It wouldn’t make things right, but at least it might end it all.

He looked at Connor then and felt overwhelmed with how much he didn’t want that life for him. Connor was good, he was kind, he was honest, he was loyal, and he didn’t deserve that shit. Hank just had to make him see that.

“Connor, I want you to listen to me.” Connor didn’t move, but Hank knew he was listening. Connor was always listening. “What you’re doing, this game you’re playing…it’s not going to fix anything. These androids aren’t going to stop until you’re dead, and hell maybe that’s what you’re hoping for. But I’m telling you now, it’s not going to make things right.” 

Hank half-expected him to deny it all, tell him he wasn’t playing any games, assure him he was fine and he can handle his own problems. Instead, Connor slowly dropped his hands to his lap and looked over at Hank. The mournful look in his eyes was almost too much to bear. 

“Then what will?” he asked, so sincere it fucking broke his heart.

Hank reached over to pat Connor’s thigh consolingly, no hesitation this time. “Wish I knew son, wish I knew.” They sat in silence for a few moments before Hank spoke again. 

“Listen, I’ll make you a deal. These fuckers mess with you again, you fight back, all right? Because if you didn’t make it home last night, I don’t…” He didn’t want to finish the thought and for once Connor didn’t press him. 

“Just promise you’ll do that for me, okay? And in exchange I’ll…” He hesitated. He knew exactly what he should give in exchange, but a part of him was still terrified of being without that comfort. But then Connor looked over at him with hope shining in his eyes and Hank gave in. “I’ll get rid of the gun.”

“You will?” Connor asked incredulously. Hank couldn’t blame him for being surprised considering he basically told him to fuck off every time he had asked him to get rid of it before. 

“Yeah, I will. So, we got a deal?”

Connor seemed to ponder this for a moment before he nodded seriously. “Yes, I accept your deal.”

“Atta boy,” he grinned for the first time all morning, squeezing Connor’s shoulder affectionately. “Like I said, we’re partners now. We’re in this together, no one left behind and all that shit. Got it?”

“Got it,” Connor replied and smiled at him so genuinely Hank could feel his cheeks burning. He abruptly got up from the sofa in a vain attempt to hide his embarrassment.

“Jeez, you really do look goofy, you know that?” he grumbled irritably.

“So I’ve been told,” Connor replied instantly, completely undeterred. 

Hank stalked off to make coffee, mumbling loudly about smart-ass androids. The two of them were both royally fucked up, but for the first time in a long time he felt strangely hopeful. Like maybe they could manage to keep each other alive somehow. It was a nice thought anyway. 

**Author's Note:**

> First time ever posting on this site. I often write for fandoms but never end up posting anything because I never finish anything. But being at home 24/7 meant I finally could finish something. I have ideas for chapters to add, but knowing me I might never get to them so no promises. No beta so apologies for any mistakes. I love this game and especially these two! 
> 
> Hope someone out there enjoys this!


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